Top expert tips for a stress-free childbirth

Although childbirth is wonderfully natural, it can also be a little daunting. I mean, it doesn’t matter if it’s your first time or your tenth time, each labour experience is completely different, and some situations simply cannot be planned for.
To help avoid stressful situations and unexpected anxiety or nerves during your own birthing experience or that of someone you know and love, we’ve asked midwife Kate Young for her best tips for staying cool, calm and collected in the later months of pregnancy…
Tips to help you stress less in the lead up to birth…
#1. Now is a good time to think about who you would like to have present at the actual birth. It’s wise to choose those who are supportive, caring, calming and trust-worthy.
#2. Try not to let horror stories you’ve heard about birth bother you. When you’re trying to prepare yourself for your own experience, thinking of other traumatising births will not help you.
#3. Relax. Now is not the time to overload yourself with work or chores. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, ask for assistance from your partner, friends or colleagues. If you’re feeling concerned about more than just general day-to-day stress, speak to your midwife or doctor.
Tips to help you stress less during labour…
#1. Labour takes time, and it is important to remember that it is different for all women. Expecting it to happen quickly can also make the event more stressful. The average length of labour for a first-time mother is around 12 hours, which essentially is one whole day at work including travel time.
#2. Change positions constantly. If you can walk, move around. It will relieve pain and stress and help to keep you focused. If one particular position doesn't work, move. The midwife and your support people are there to help you do so.
#3. If you are tired, rest and sleep between contractions. The time between the contractions is around two to three minutes, so it may not feel like a lot of time but you should make the most of it if you need to.
#4. If you have made a birth plan or have any particular requests, discuss them with your support people before and during labour. This way if you forget personally, your supporters are there to guide you through.
#5. Ask your midwife to discuss your progress during labour and to explain anything that is unfamiliar to you. This includes anything from monitoring equipment, medications you may need or the pain relief options available to you. It will help you to become more comfortable and relaxed in your birthing environment when you know what is around you and the choices you can make.
Have you given birth? If so, did you feel stressed, anxious or nervous in the lead up to your delivery? Do you or any of your friends and family have tips for staying calm and confident during the final stages of pregnancy and throughout the birth?
45 Member Comments
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so useful, thanks BH!
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Next mid of year is bub arrival time. Feeling anxious n nervous at the same time.
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And ladies, don't worry about getting a 'birth plan'. I face-palm whenever I read on baby websites about bringing scented candles, massage oil and relaxation music in hospital bags. Jesus, honestly when you have proper contractions, they are the least of your worry. And with birth plans, births are unpredictable and you just have to do whatever you need to keep yourself and the baby safe.
You know what they say: if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. If you want to make a midwife laugh, tell her your birth plans. True that.
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As a first-time mom (currently with a 2-month-old), I can tell you the 'rest/sleep between contractions' thing is total rubbish. I have a decent pain threshold, but the pain of contractions was soul-crushing. But then again my labour was especially long and difficult because my baby turned out to be bigger than anticipated. He was a 8-pounder while I'm not even 5 ft tall!
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I haven't been pregnant before but even thinking about childbirth kind of freaks me out
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Once I'd had that good old epi I was fine! The contractions are hell but once the numbing kicks in its just about pushing and waiting. It wasn't as hard as I'd thought it was going to be!
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Great tips although don't beat yourself up if you follow everything to a t and then it all goes out the window and you want every drug under the sun. I found exercising made me feel good through my second pregnancy and I did so alright right until I gave birth. My PT devised a plan which was gentle enough for me to do. I have to admit was really anxious both times, first time not knowing what to expect and second time knowing what to expect! We get through it and all the pain we may endure is worth the little bundle of joy at the end!
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I have a friend who is due to give due soon, and I worried about the pain for her. Cant imagine what I will be like when it happens.
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Given birth to 3 children - Certainly unknown territory for the first (all plans and classes went out the window!) and similarly the second. Number 3 was "can we get this over with please!" - totally different birth and had it been the first, I'd have been freaking out - but so much calmer with the third time round - had total confidence in the hospital staff and doctor - they've done more births than me and best to go with their judgement. Everyone has a different birth story and the hope is that it all goes well with a healthy mum and baby.
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grip your partners hand
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I wasn't nervous before giving birth to my first child, I just figured that I trusted my Dr and that he would do the best that he could for me. It all went well.
I'm about to have my second child and I'm a little nervous because I have a different Dr and a different hospital so I'm not familiar with their procedures etc and I don't know anyone that's given birth there. I just have to trust that it will all be okay.
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Still a little while off for me yet, but still an interesting read.
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I've never been pregnant but the thought of childbirth does worry me a bit if I think about it! Though I do need to remind myself that so many people have been through it so it can't be that disastrous!
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Not yet! but these are great tips!
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Great tips for those that are expecting
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i have never been pregnant but i can't wait!
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Currently 22 weeks pregnant, so this is very relevant to me. Ta x
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Some great tips and the lovely ladies on this forum are helping that little bit more
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These are wonderful tips for pregnant ladies, I could only wish. aaaahhhhh sigh
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I was totally stress free during labour, I had an epidural, highly recomended if you have a low pain threshold.
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Good tips. I'm no where near the baby stage in my life though :)
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Really great tips! I hope that I will be able to remain calm and focused during labour
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I was paranoid leading up to my first child's birth, but it was wasted stress because it was a breeze. Everything went perfectly and it made the while experience just so calming and easy.
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