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    Is it okay to holiday without your kids?

    Updated:26 Apr 2016 4:28 PM | Posted by
    bh's Olivia Mackinnon's picture
    bh's Olivia Mackinnon
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    Everyone is different, which means that ultimately, we’re all going to be different kinds of parents, too. Some things that you find okay, may not sit so well with others. The trick is to decide what you’re comfortable with and accept how other parents raise their children.

    That wasn’t the case on a recent radio show, where there was a heated debate brewing about whether or not it’s okay to travel without your children. Neither side could comprehend the other’s view on the matter and it made for some pretty spectacular radio.

    So I took to the beautyheaven mums, in the attempt to discover what the general view was among women I know and work with…

    bh’s Jackie says: Yes, it’s essential! (Jackie has four kids, aged between 11-22)

    “Is it OK to travel with your partner and leave your kids at home? Of course it is! In fact it’s more than OK - it is ESSENTIAL for a happy, healthy relationship. I highly recommend couples with children do this at least once a year and preferably twice or three times to make sure you re-connect and remember why you fell in love and decided to have those little treasures in the first place. It is really easy to forget sometimes!”

    bh’s Tara says: No, not really (Tara has one daughter, aged two)

    “It depends on how long the holiday. A weekend away with no kids? Absolutely! A 10-day holiday to Thailand sans kids? I would totally judge. I figure as a parent you are allowed a bit of time out (two or three days) but other than that I subscribe to the theory that "you brought them into the world, so it's your responsibility to look after them" so if you're going on holiday, then you're ALL going on holiday.

    But this is mainly referring to young kids. I figure once they hit their teens, they won't want to go on holiday with you anyway.”

    bh’s Di says: Yes! (Di has two children, aged 18-21)

    “I think it is A-OK and have done so on a few occasions. It can be annoying because you have quite a lot to organise before you go, like making sure your kids have all they need for school, if they’ll be staying with someone else.

    Though there’s an element of planning, I do think it’s worth it in the end for the benefit of your relationship with your partner. Kids think it’s exciting to have a change to their routine too - and presents from mum and dad when they get back from the holiday don’t hurt either.”

    bh’s Laura says: No, not yet (Laura has one daughter, aged 10 weeks)

    “I think it depends a lot on how old the children are. At the moment I've not been separated from my daughter for longer than three hours and I just cannot imagine being apart from her even overnight.

    This is partly necessity, partly because I'd miss her (she is only 10 weeks old though!) I can understand parents of older children wanting a break, but personally I wouldn't want to go away for more than a couple of nights without her because holidays to me are family time and family holidays are some of the most enduring memories I have of my childhood so I wouldn't want her to miss out.”

    bh’s Janet says: Yes, with conditions (Janet has one son, aged 11)

    “As long as you know the child/children are staying with people they like, I think both the parents and the children enjoy the break from each other!”

    bh’s Kym says: yes and no (Kym has two sons, aged 11-17)

    “Ideally I’d prefer to go on holidays without my kids - eek!
    I'm not sure whether that's politically correct to say but hey, I'm a single mum who works full time and have two boys to look after five days a week. The peace would be well-received and deserved, don't you think?

    But on the other hand it is still lovely to go away with my boys, getting away from the day-to-day boring tasks and chilling out together is very special.  I'd love to be able to take them overseas and create long-term memories and I feel it's really valuable to introduce them to different cultures - budget permitting!”

    What do you think? Would you travel without your kids? Who's comment do you agree with most?

    67 Member Comments

    Nda 22 Jul 2013 6:06 AM

    I agree it depends on the age but I think holiday without the kids is essential when they're old enough to stay with someone else...keeping the romance alive in the marriage!

    Marie_ 22 Jul 2013 5:42 AM

    I think it depends on the length of the holiday. im ok with a week away at most but any more than that and i dont think its fair on the kids nor the people looking after them. Its nice to have time away, but wait until your kids are old enough and then you will have all the time in world...they will think youre too uncool to travel with and youll wish they came haha

    Jessica712 22 Jul 2013 1:30 AM

    I reckon it would be hard enough being a parent so I try not to judge. That being said a weekend away sounds fine, but more than that when the kids are young, I just dont agree with.

    jewl 22 Jul 2013 12:38 AM

    Yes I think u need a break from your kids but it depends on how old they are.

    freaky 22 Jul 2013 12:13 AM

    I believe all go with child friendly activities for parent time. My husbands parents used to leave them at home and his older sister almost set fire to the house. He also felt neglected. I always went everywhere with my parents as a family and we are all extremely close

    Beauty Diva77 21 Jul 2013 10:25 PM

    Yes I think it's good to have a trip on your own without the kids but I would only go for 4 days max as I would leave them with family then head back as I would miss them to much lol even thou it would be great to have a holiday longer but couldn't do longer than 4 days without them.

    Ssajwani 21 Jul 2013 2:45 PM

    i would agree with bh's Janet: With some conditions

    Chicklet 21 Jul 2013 12:06 PM

    Nothing wrong with going on holidays without children! To be honest, when I'm on holidays I prefer not to be surrounded by other people's children, so I am fine with them being left at home.

    blondie58 21 Jul 2013 11:58 AM

    I have never gone on holiday without my son, I just don't think it would be a holiday without him. I know a lot of people that love time away from their kids, which is fine but it's not for me.

    Diosang S 21 Jul 2013 11:10 AM

    I agree to the fact that it depends on the children's age and maturity. Couples need space for themselves to reconnect and rekindle their love for each other. Having said that it is also important that the children understand this. I also wouldn't stay longer than a weekend in respect for time of the person taking care of my kids even though they're family.

    Ellelily 21 Jul 2013 10:50 AM

    I think i only ever had one w/end trip away when i had me kids. But i just thought it was the right thing to do. And when my mum who used to look after them said that she was happy doing it. Otherwise just didnt go. And had family trips

    Seezora 21 Jul 2013 10:41 AM

    Each to their own! My husband and I take our children with us when we go on a family holiday. I refuse to look after other people's children so they can go on a get away, and I don't expect others to look after my children. We do pay a child minder so we can go out for an evening every now and then but for a longer time away, if we can't take the children, we generally don't go.

    Evanescencessy 21 Jul 2013 10:24 AM

    I think it depends on their age and also how long. I think if they're only a baby and still quite young, then no.

    Princess Perfume 21 Jul 2013 9:56 AM

    I don't think when they are really young it's a good idea but maybe when they're in their teens - but then that is when they might be old enough to appreciate travel. Hard call.

    Yasmine871 21 Jul 2013 7:54 AM

    This is such a great article! :) x

    jatz 21 Jul 2013 7:34 AM

    When the kids were little we never went away on our own. As the kids got older, I think it's good to at least have a getaway week-end without kids but unfortunately in my marriage back then, we never did.....hence why our marriage didn't last. At the sametime though, I loved going on holidays with the kids as they entertain you.

    CherryBlossom 21 Jul 2013 4:57 AM

    It really depends on the situation, if its a romantic getaway and there's someone to take good care of the kids, then I think its great. If its a real holiday or a vacation, then no, take the kids too, its all a part of being a family, isn't it!

    JaneyPooh 21 Jul 2013 2:53 AM

    It depends on length of holiday and age of kids. Before the age of 3 I think no. From 3 years a weekend away is ok if kids are with family or very close friends. When kids are around 10 then a week away if they stay with family or very close friends is ok. Trips of 2 weeks plus are only ok if kids are self sufficient e.g. 15 plus. Kids younger than 3 cannot comprehend that mummy and daddy are on holiday and will come back.

    Marshmello brain 21 Jul 2013 2:04 AM

    I'd be very tempted to not have children at all! So many things to worry about.

    sassylily 21 Jul 2013 2:03 AM

    There is another possibilty, holidays sans parents, my husband is English and we have many close relatives living in England. My girls have been to England many times and are comfortable with the flight. When the girls were 13 and 11 we sent them to England as unaccompanied minors to spend Christmas with their Aunties. They had a ball and we missed them. 95% of our holidays have included our children. Previously my husband and I have left the girls in England, in the care of relatives while we had weekend breaks in Krakow, Monaco, Amsterdam and Barcelona.

    Kassalee 20 Jul 2013 11:03 PM

    Could never imagine a Holiday without the 1,2 then 3 kids!

    We maybe managed a couple of overnighters (packing them off to the grandparents) to attend weddings - kids not invited.

    Finally after 23 years married, we went away for 8 days without the kids and it was wonderful! Yes, they are now 16, 18 and 20 and it's easy to keep in touch from the other side of the world with communication - couldn't do much about the hot water system dying until we came back tho!

    Platinum Ms 20 Jul 2013 10:48 PM

    I feel all the girls have valid points, I personally think it depends on your lifestyle and how old are the kids we all need to go away with the kids as a family but also need to time out for yourself and your partner, I do feel sometimes you need get away by yourself or time out in some way to grow.

    RockieHazel 20 Jul 2013 2:10 PM

    I think it's ok. I mean of course take your kids on some holidays too, but I think it's ok to go on a holiday without them provided they're well cared for. Nothing's worse than being on a long haul flight with a screaming baby.

    bebeautiful34 20 Jul 2013 12:27 PM

    I think it totally depends on the kids' ages. A family holiday is nice, but a couples retreat is essential in keeping the romance alive!

    PrettyPrincess 20 Jul 2013 11:30 AM

    My little man is only 5 months old, so I can't imagine leaving him for too long, maybe when he's older for a night, we might stay in a hotel (in the same city) and leave him with grandparents overnight.

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